An open letter to my children… A season of change, while we enter a new chapter ahead.
T I M E it’s such a thief, stealing the days, hours, minutes, and seconds away. Time wasn’t something I really ever considered or paid much attention to, until I became a mother. Perhaps, it set in, because that is all I really ever heard from strangers, family, and friends.
“Hold on tight, and cherish every moment, as it goes by far too quickly.” they would say. With my firstborn, I remember back to then, and hearing that told to me a lot. I would often smile kindly and warmly, and let out a small ha. Little did I know, just how truly right they were.
As I sit here writing this today, looking back on the last 11 years of motherhood, I sit in disbelief on just how much time has flown by! My oldest is now heading to middle school, and my youngest two off to kindergarten. With that, here goes my open letter to my kiddos – sharing my mama heart openly and honestly.
Dear sweet children of mine,
It’s hard to believe how fast the last eleven years have flown by. I remember the last day of me working, like it was just yesterday. It’s burned so intently in mind. A day that I had longed and prayed for, for quite some time. You didn’t know, but I had always wanted to be a mama first and foremost.
For me, it was either a career, or full time motherhood. It’s no surprise why I chose the later. Seeing you grow up before my very own eyes, has been the greatest blessing I ever could have been gifted with. The days seemed long at times, while others just flew by.
There were days that I rocked the motherhood thing, and others that I failed. I had triumphs, and disheartenment. I learned through you and through myself. I poured every ounce of who I was, into your little beings. Sometimes, leaving me empty and depleted.
You see, as your mom, you were my everything! I tried my best to not waste the moments away with you all. Looking back, I have days of regret. Days that I didn’t feel I lived life to the fullest with you all. Days where I lacked to be the best I could be for you. But, I know deep in my heart, you didn’t see those days the way I did.
I loved hearing you tell me how F U N of a mom I was, and for thanking me for doing something special with you. Whether it be a random day at the park, going on an outing, or spending a day in the backyard playing a game. Those were always the moments I lived for!
Now that you all are finally in school, my days are going to look a lot different. It’s funny, because if I am being honest, I had longed for this time to come. Now that it is finally here, I sit in a puddle of sadness, thinking about T I M E. Where did it all go? How I am here already?
My babies you might not be anymore, but forever and always you will be in my heart. This new chapter for me is a bit scary. Just the same as your new chapters for school feel scary. For my oldest, I know your scared of Middle School. It’s a new beginning, a change of what your use to, and a new scene with unfamiliar faces.
For my middle guy, I know your scared of having a new teacher for the first time in two years, and for also starting with unfamiliar faces, even though you remain where you have grown to be comfortable.
For my youngest two (twins) I know it’s scary starting school for the first time. For being away from your mom for the first time with people you do not know, and for being separated from one another for the first time, while finding your paths on your own.
What I want you all to know though, is that we are in this together! This new season of change may be scary for us all, but one thing we can lean on for comfort, is the fact that we carry each other within our hearts. I will think of each of you often throughout my day.
I will be rooting for you, praying for you, and most of all sending my love to each of your hearts. I might not be right by your side, but one thing that is amazing about love, is that you can feel it ever so strongly, right in the center of your own hearts.
So, when your feeling scared, lonely, sad, or panicked, know I am there with you in that moment. Feel my hand squeezing yours tightly, while whispering in your ear words of love. I will always carry my love for you, wherever I may be. Knowing that you are never too far, and that you will always have a piece of my heart.
Here’s to a new year ahead, to changes and new beginnings, to unwavering love, and to a safe, fun, and happy school year. Reach for the stars, and make your dreams become a reality, my sweet kiddos!