Happy New Year! Goodbye To 2017 Pt. 1

January 3, 2018

Happy 2018!
I can’t believe we’ve rounded the corner on another year! The years seem to fly faster than the last. Sometimes, a little too fast. We hung low as we typically do, and had a very chill-laxed NYE. It was just us, fizzling grape juice, party hats & blow horns, and these crazy kiddos!

Even before I had kids, I never went out for NYE. In fact, I can’t even remember a time I did much of anything elaborate! {Sad… I know!} I guess I just have never been the huge party -goer type.  As I have gotten older, I have learned to look forward to the day after, instead. It’s a fresh new slate to a full year ahead. What is much better than that?

I am happy to say goodbye to 2017. It was a year I had a lot of high hopes set for, and instead, turned out the complete opposite for me.  One thing I have always struggled with throughout my life, is setting my bar too high, and missing it, almost always!

2017 was filled with my first touch of darkness, in quite some time.  It lead me down a crazy path, brushing up against anxiety and paranoia.  Let me tell you, anxiety can do some really messed up things to your body.  I started having a plethora of health issues unfold before my very own young, 30 something eyes.  I couldn’t catch my breath. I often felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest, trying to suffocate me. My mood would swing like an out of control pendulum. One minute in pure panic, the next in a saddened ball of a mess.

Little did I know, that this evil thing called “anxiety” was only just beginning to wreak havoc on my body.  Next in store for me, was heart issues.  Palpitations continually firing, making me feel like I was going into heart failure every few moments. I found myself in the doctor office and ER, more times than I humbly would ever want to admit.  My doctor told me after the first few visits and tests ran, that I likely had anxiety.  I didn’t want to admit it. I refused to listen. Who is she to tell me I have something without really knowing me?

I continued to suffocate in the grips of the mighty anxiety monster, which had now fully taken over every ounce of me.  Some days, having me on my knees, begging to God, not for this to be the end of me. Of which, I honestly thought was.  What got this whole messy train started, was two moles on my body.  They didn’t look right to me. I did some reading and had a doctor check them out.  They said they looked fine, and they were nothing to worry about.  However, they don’t know me very well.  Worry, yeah, that’s my favorite word.  Or at least it use to be… I read article after article, convincing myself that I had skin cancer.

I made an appointment with a dermatologist, to have him give me his honest opinion. I was so nervous sitting there almost naked, waiting for him to inspect my body.  He looked over all of my other moles, as I have a lot of them.  Then he got to the two I was in question about.  He told me that he didn’t like what he saw.  My heart sank… on top of that, he found a third that I didn’t even have on my radar.  Next up was biopsies, which would be another few weeks out.  I sat and worked myself up.  I held my babies, and I cried so hard.  Again, begging for this not to be the end of me.

The day came for removal.  It was quite a fast procedure, and not painful at all.  I would have to wait another week or so, before the results would come back. Finally the letter came, and I never was so happy to see it!  I knew that the letter meant I was ok.  He told me if it was bad, I would be receiving a phone call, instead. I thanked my lucky stars.  However, that wasn’t the end of this nightmare for me.  I still was battling these previous symptoms, and things were just getting worse.  I decided to do more research.  I got into some articles about thyroid disease. Can you see a pattern here?

Google was starting to become my best friend, and own worst enemy, at the very same time. After reading into the many affects thyroid disfunction can have, and do to you, I was certain that mine was off.  I marched back into the doctor, asking to have it checked.  I was also starting to feel a weird lump in my throat, that just wouldn’t go away.  My doctor felt my thyroids, and determined that my left side had a nodule.  An ultrasound confirmed it.  A thyroid nodule?  What the heck was that?  Back to google… More stress and more worry, just what my body needed.  I was set to go in for a fine needle biopsy, right before Christmas.  {To be continued…}

6 Comments

  • Strength and Sunshine

    January 3, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    I am so glad to see 2017 be over too!

  • Latasha (@ArtsandBudgets)

    January 4, 2018 at 2:05 am

    Yay! Happy New year! Cheers to an amazing 2018 year! 🙂 Oh! and I love the Pj’s! 🙂 🙂

  • tanviidotcom

    January 4, 2018 at 2:00 pm

    Looks like you had a tough 2017 – But I am hoping the story continues towards a happy ending. Sending you all the best wishes for 2018!!!

    ❥ tanvii.com

    1. lifewithtwinsplus2

      January 4, 2018 at 8:00 pm

      Thank You! I look forward to finishing the story. 😌 Wishing you the best, as well!

  • Nancy

    January 4, 2018 at 7:26 pm

    Wow, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot in 2017. My year wasn’t the best–my dad passed away and my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s/dementia. I had so much anxiety the whole year! Here’s hoping for a great 2018!

    1. lifewithtwinsplus2

      January 4, 2018 at 8:01 pm

      I’m sorry to hear of your loss! My deepest condolences. Here’s to 2018, and hopefully little or no anxiety! ❤️

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